Ended
Brian Hubble
Whatever is Unknown is Magnified
Feb 2 – Feb 25, 2018
February 2, 2018
Re: Letter of Recommendation for Brian Hubble
Dear Mr. Alex Jones,
I would like to recommend Brian Hubble to the position of weatherman at Infowars.
We need to step up with real investigative journalism about the atmosphere. We’ve ceded this territory for too long.
A benign conspiracist, Brian will need some grooming if he is to replicate your scrupulous and suspicious investigative disposition. But from the perspective of expanding your viewership I think it is worth considering a more centrist approach. A cursory glance at MSM and you can see how proficient this faction has become at gaslighting and alt-universe conspiracies.
Brian will do an excellent job manicuring the elderly types. Some of your competitors violently shake the geriatrics off their rockers every news cycle – not a good look when your viewers die prematurely. Doctor Phil’s advice is to stoke them with mild hysteria and heartburn no more than once a week.
Watching the local weather out here in Long Island, we could be forgiven for thinking that the island is about to slide into the ocean. It’s just bad weather folks! We live in perpetual bad weather. My neighbor's car has been floating down Main Street since the day I was born.
Nor does the weather belong to Al Gore for Pete’s sake! I’m tired of being told that it’s too hot and being caught without my windbreaker.
In his work, Brian assiduously deprives us of the data. Facts are carefully repositioned. Key articles are removed. The goal posts are divided. Invaluable assistance I say.
Brian would also be a fabulous fit for short plugs in the World at War or Globalism departments. Weather creep must be stopped! Brian must stave the overflow of weather into other streams of information. Politics stays politics! Economics stays economics! Sports stays sports! (And btw, I don’t see a sports section on Infowars. What’s up with that?).
Look, I don’t need everything to be doused with the weather like it was hot sauce. I’m not recommending Brian to be a line chef at an artisanal farm-to-face restaurant in Brooklyn. I’m recommending Brian as an atmospheric spokesman to the American people.
Yours in Solidarity,
James Powers
